Recently, I have been expanding my horizons in the bdsm world. I originally started becoming more involved in order to meet women that Sir and I could enjoy but I soon found it had the added benefit of strengthening my submission to Sir.
I have become more active on Fetlife including attending some of the many events going on in the Seattle area. A few months back I met a very nice submissive woman who invited me to join her and other submissive ladies who occasionally get together and talk about both the ecstasy and the challenges of submission.
I have one particular roadblock that has been weighing on my mind lately and was hoping to get some advice from women that have the same burning desires as I do. Despite being very obedient to Sir there has been one specific thing that when he asks me about it, I can't seem to acquiesce to immediately. He asks me if I would pleasure another man if he told me to and as recently as this past Saturday, I still stammered and showed contempt at the very mention of it. I never outright say no and eventually agree but we both know my submission is seriously lacking here. In most other realms, it has become instant, I don't think about what he desires, I simply comply. It may sound crazy and if I didn't trust him 100%, I might think it was pretty fucked up myself. But this has become part of my nature, especially recently. It is who I am and who I always wanted to be even though it took a long time for me to realize it.
Someone asked what has worked to strengthen my submission
up to this point. I thought about it and this is what I came up with.
- Daily rituals. Well actually that would be ritual as I only have one that I do every single day and that is text when I go to bed. This ensures that it is last thing I think about on any given day.
- Overwhelming horniness. My baseline is always horny anyway but I'm referring to that frenzied sexual energy that possesses me and I can think of nothing but all the amazing things he does to me. My symptoms become physical at this point as well. My pussy throbs and clenches uncontrollably and I get wet. At this stage I am usually waiting for him to grant permission for an orgasm or trying to delay asking him because I think it may be a bad time to bother him.
- My weekly report due every Sunday on the progress of my search for for another woman to play with.
- Hearing unexpectantly from him. Sometimes I hear from him out of the blue and he will text something he wants me to do or even better, something he has been thinking about that he would like to see happen for example, wear a sheer blouse or branding. He doesn't do this very often but when he does, my mind becomes fixated on whatever idea he has dreamed up and what I can do to ensure that this particular desire comes to fruition. Other times he surprised me by texting photos of himself, both sexual and non-sexual. This nearly puts me over the edge! My craving to submit and serve surges at these times.
- Having him choose my outfit. He asks me to take photos of myself in two different outfits and he then decides which I will wear that day. This also includes undergarments or even better, lack of undergarments. If he does decide I am not to wear panties, I am even more aroused all day which in turn reminds me of my dedication to serving him.
- Serving him. I don't get the opportunity to this as much as I would like but a good example would be making and serving him dinner.
- Writing on my blog or Twitter. Also, reading about others kinky experiences. This fills my head lots of new and exciting ideas that I would love to try.
- Conquering a challenge he has given me. This is probably the number one thing that strengthens my submission. The pride I feel when I please him is overwhelming and to accomplish a difficult task just makes me want to do more to please. The ones that stick out in my mind are finding another woman and being alone with a woman. When I finally succeeded in my mission, the pride and satisfaction I felt was greater than words can describe.
So, needless to say, the girls were impressed with my journey especially because it was the first time in my life that I have done it. They could tell I take my submission very seriously but did have a few suggestions I hadn't thought of. Here are a few if them:
- Do more. More rituals. More serving. Basically more of everything I listed above. I love this idea and would gladly do anything he asked but ultimately it is up to Sir the frequency of any and all and activities. They suggested I tell him I can take as much as he can give. I am fairly certain he knows I would do just about anything to give him pleasure. I would hope he would never hold back in pushing me. I embrace and savor every single act of submission I have experienced for him and can't even imagine anything he asks being too much.