I just can't shake the feeling that he values his other partner more than me. She is younger, an artist and it would seem, way more appealing than I am.
He has only known her 5 or so months yet he pushes her for more even when she runs away, introduces her to his friends and family and from what I can tell, spends more time with her. I wish I could be happy for him but I can't seem to get this fucking compersion concept down! I'm jealous God dammit!
He says it is not so and that he doesn't value her more than me but if that is really true, why can't I shake this feeling? Is my intuition really that far off? I hate to bug him again with my insecurities. He is really good about listening and reassuring me but I hate being so needy and whiny! I feel like that it will eventually turn him off. I thought if maybe if I just wrote about it I would feel better.
I don't always feel this way and I know it won't last. It is just the last day or so I've been slipping into this funk. I feel so in the dark and wish I had more information. I'm frustrated and sad and definitely not living in the moment like I've been working very hard to do!