A few days ago, I was talking with a submissive friend about some struggles I have experienced lately, Struggles that seem to come to life only in my own head. Namely, how I have been reacting negatively to things that didn't even happen. Seeing the worst possible scenario instead of the best or even neutral. Putting undue strain on my relationship with Sir and generally making me miserable, What was her answer to this? She said not to be too hard on myself because after all, "Perception is Reality" and that should justify my bad behavior..
I think that is bullshit, I think it is nothing but an excuse for bad behavior.
Perception is NOT Reality and faulty Perceptions Create a World of Lies.
This overused phrase, "Perception is reality" is a blatant lie. The way we see ourselves, our bodies, situations, and the world around us is skewed by our own biases and insecurities. The way we view life is simply not real. It doesn't accurately reflect what is. Instead, it is past experiences, personal insecurities, and previously formed opinions and beliefs that heavily impact how we see the world while altering our ability to clearly see what is true. It makes me think of this quote from C.S. Lewis.
“What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.”
Two different people who hear the same statement or witness one event can easily step away and reflect two completely different views. No two people will perceive something identically which is often the cause for many disagreements.
Our personal perceptions mostly cause us to be more judgmental of ourselves than anyone else. Whether it's about our appearance, our intellect or our strength in submission, we are our worst critics and consequently our own worst enemies as well.
It would serve us all well to keep in mind what Lewis is saying in his quote. The way we see ourselves and the world is directly effected by where we are in our lives, past experiences, and inborn insecurities or biases. Life would be easier and I am thinking that we would be much happier if we remembered that most of what we believe we see and hear is simply not reality.
I will allow that disagreeing with the concept of "perception is reality" may have some negative results like constantly second guessing ourselves or perhaps even thinking we're going crazy part of the time but it is the truth. None of us are able to absorb anything exactly as it is because our perceptions alter it as soon as it enters our brain. Knowing this can maybe help us to not be so hard on ourselves and others around us.
I don't have any answers to solve all the chaos this creates but it makes me feel better just to be aware that it exists. I am very thankful that Sir is so patient with me and makes it safe for me to fumble and recover but I hate disappointing him. I hope he knows I will never stop striving to be a more evolved submissive and person in general.