A gathering of submissive women

Recently, I have been expanding my horizons in the bdsm world. I originally started becoming more involved in order to meet women that Sir and I could enjoy but I soon found it had the added benefit of strengthening my submission to Sir. 

I have become more active on Fetlife including attending some of the many events going on in the Seattle area. A few months back I met a very nice submissive woman who invited me to join her and other submissive ladies who occasionally get together and talk about both the ecstasy and the challenges of submission.

 

I have one particular roadblock that has been weighing on my mind lately and was hoping to get some advice from women that have the same burning desires as I do. Despite being very obedient to Sir  there has been one specific thing that when he asks me about it, I can't seem to acquiesce to immediately. He asks me if I would pleasure another man if he told me to and as recently as this past Saturday, I still stammered and showed contempt at the very mention of it. I never outright say no and eventually agree but we both know my submission is seriously lacking here. In most other realms, it has become instant, I don't think about what he desires, I simply comply. It may sound crazy and if I didn't trust him 100%, I might think it was pretty fucked up myself. But this has become part of my nature, especially recently. It is who I am and who I always wanted to be even though it took a long time for me to realize it.

 

Someone asked what has worked to strengthen my submission 

up to this point. I thought about it and this is what I came up with. 

 - Daily rituals. Well actually that would be ritual as I only have one that I do every single day and that is text when I go to bed. This ensures that it is last thing I think about on any given day. 

- Overwhelming horniness. My baseline is always horny anyway but I'm referring to that frenzied sexual energy that possesses me and I can think of nothing but all the amazing things he does to me. My symptoms become physical at this point as well. My pussy throbs and clenches uncontrollably and I get wet. At this stage I am usually waiting for him to grant permission for an orgasm or trying to delay asking him because I think it may be a bad time to bother him.

- My weekly report due every Sunday on the progress of my search for for another woman to play with.

- Hearing unexpectantly from him. Sometimes I hear from him out of the blue and he will text something he wants me to do or even better, something he has been thinking about that he would like to see happen for example, wear a sheer blouse or branding. He doesn't do this very often but when he does, my mind becomes fixated on whatever idea he has dreamed up and what I can do to ensure that this particular desire comes to fruition. Other times he surprised me by texting photos of himself, both sexual and non-sexual. This nearly puts me over the edge! My craving to submit and serve surges at these times.

- Having him choose my outfit. He asks me to take photos of myself in two different outfits and he then decides which I will wear that day. This also includes undergarments or even better, lack of undergarments. If he does decide I am not to wear panties, I am even more aroused all day which in turn reminds me of my dedication to serving him. 

- Serving him. I don't get the opportunity to this as much as I would like but a good example would be making and serving him dinner.

 

- Writing on my blog or Twitter. Also, reading about others kinky experiences. This fills my head lots of new and exciting ideas that I would love to try.

- Conquering a challenge he has given me. This is probably the number one thing that strengthens my submission. The pride I feel when I please him is overwhelming and to accomplish a difficult task just makes me want to do more to please. The ones that stick out in my mind are finding another woman and being alone with a woman. When I finally succeeded in my mission, the pride and satisfaction I felt was greater than words can describe.

So, needless to say, the girls were impressed with my journey especially because it was the first time in my life that I have done it. They could tell I take my submission very seriously but did have a few suggestions I hadn't thought of. Here are a few if them:

- Do more. More rituals. More serving. Basically more of everything I listed above. I love this idea and would gladly do anything he asked but ultimately it is up to Sir the frequency of any and all and activities. They suggested I tell him I can take as much as he can give. I am fairly certain he knows I would do just about anything to give him pleasure. I would hope he would never hold back in pushing me. I embrace and savor every single act of submission I have experienced for him and can't even imagine anything he asks being too much.

- On the flip side of serving, is learning to wait patiently for him to lead. Dominants don't want to feel like they HAVE to communicate when they really don't want to. If a submissive tries using guilt or manipulation to serve herself by getting him to serve her, this is a turnoff which will in turn strain your connection and possibly even  sabotage submission. I was told several times that one of the most difficult but also most important skills a submissive can possess is to know when the dominant wants silence or solitude. Learn to respect this and more importantly learn to know without being told to simply lay low and be quiet for awhile.

- The last piece of useful advice I learned was to practice particularly difficult scenario's in your head until it becomes second nature. Several times a day, I am to imagine him asking me to suck another man's cock and picture myself agreeing immediately in a calm, peaceful manner, finding contentment in his pleasure of how I submit so completely to him.

It was a wonderful night and I really enjoyed myself. It is so nice to talk to people who understand my nonconventional desires. I look forward to incorporating these gems of wisdom into my never ending quest to strengthen my submission so I can give Sir exactly what he deserves.

 

 

Constant Cravings

I am constantly craving the opportunity to  serve Him. I can never get enough. The problem is that life is busy and serving him can’t always happen as often as I would like. This gets me so frustrated and distracted. I try not to complain or make demands on him but sometimes I just have no idea how to deal with it. A few times it has gotten so bad that I thought I might be crazy!

 

This feeling also creates this discordant state in my head. I mean doesn’t being submissive consist of me serving his needs, not the other way around? Does having my own agenda making me a lesser submissive? I have a hard time knowing where the line is. I know he cares that I am getting what I need and he an innate abililty to know just how far to push me. I guess I just get scared I will push and cross the line and we all know what happens at that point!

 

It is hard to believe that there was ever a time in my life that I had no interest in sex. Now I can’t get enough! I actually crave it like a drug and when I can’t get it, the withdrawals get increasingly worse until he takes me again. It is during these withdrawals that I usually get myself into trouble. I get irritable and have to fight the urge to demand it from him. It was almost easier when I thought that if I never had sex again, that would be just fine. Despite the fact that it was easier that way, I know I could never go back to that after knowing a passion such as the one Sir inspires.

 

Even though my struggle is as difficult as ever, I have recently learned to reign in my emotions. Well, at least of the manifestations that my emotions give birth to. I don't ignore them, I just don't let them make me irrational. I don’t whine or complain and I definitely don’t demand things from him. I do let him know in the most respectable manner I can that my need to serve is starting to become overwhelming. He already knows all too well that I always want to serve him and am constantly horny but he is good at sensing that it is worse than usual.

 

He has been slowly teaching me that I can take more than I think I can and that it is even possible to find pleasure in the waiting. We will see if I can truly master that skill. I have my doubts but then again, there is nothing he has wanted me to learn that I haven't.

My first girl on girl experience

Sir wanted me to find a girl to have a sexual experience. Alone.

 

I take his requests very seriously. In fact, there has never been one I have denied. I have always obeyed him 100%. But this one really made me freak out. I’m not exactly sure why. I mean I have been with women before and while it isn’t my preference, I have grown to appreciate the feminine form.  The difference is that it was always with Sir involved. When I am around him, my sex drive is always at 100 percent. It doesn’t matter where we are or who is around, if he is my proximity, I am desperate to fuck him. This doesn’t change when another woman is with us. His presence makes me insanely horny which in turn makes sexual acts with her better. But how would I feel without him there? I honestly had no desire at all to play with a woman by myself. I have never been able to get over the fact that in the end, I won’t get fucked and isn’t that the ultimate prize?

 

First thing was to find her woman. For some reason this wasn’t a huge concern. I figured there had to be a pretty large pool of lesbians and bisexual women to choose from. I won’t go into too much detail about my search but I did end up ruling out pure lesbians as I felt that they would not fully understand my plight.

 

Since I only had one week to do this, I thought someone I already knew would be my best bet. Last summer, I had met a woman named Jwho contacted me on OKCupid. In my profile, I identify myself as bisexual and seeking women only to basically have a threesome. We emailed and texted for a while and eventually met last summer at a Starbucks. I immediately found her very easy to talk to. She also was bubbly, attractive and as a Pilates instructor, she had a beautiful body. During our meeting she told me she was married but that her husband encouraged her to explore desire for women. Unfortunately, made it quite clear she did not want to me with other men or in a threesome. While I did like her, I was not interested in this at all so I pretty much blew her off. She tried several times to get together but if there was no chance I could bring her to Sir, I had no interest.

 

I got to her house about 10 minutes early so I sat in my car basically freaking out. After about 5 minutes, when I couldn't sit there for one more second, I went up and knocked on the door. 

She has a beautiful house out in a remote suburb of Seattle. It was neat and very nicely decorated and smelled delicious from the lasagna she was making. She offered me a glass of the merlot wine which I had brought which I took eagerly. I drank a little too fast because I was so nervous and I ended up having 3 glasses before the night was over.

 

To say the least, I was quite buzzed, which in this situation did not seem like a bad thing! I was eventually able to relax and enjoy our conversation. I again felt a slight shot of anxiety when I saw the romantic dinner setting. She had set up the formal dining room and used  the "good china". The lights were dim and she had candles on the table which she lit when we started dinner. Yes It was quite the romantic setting and I had to get my head around that the fact that this was not simply dinner with a friend. For all intents and purposes, it was a real live date. The only thing out of place was it was with a girl!

 

After about a half an hour of chatting, we had dinner, which was delicious. I was so nervous all day that I hadn’t eaten much so that I was hungry! I helped her clean up and while standing in the kitchen she leaned over and kissed me. It was really weird and I felt awkward to say the least but I kissed her back. Women are so much softer and more delicate. I can appreciate that but there is no doubt about it. I prefer it rough! After a few minutes we stopped kissing and she asked if I wanted to see her toy collection. I said yes.

 

We went upstairs into a spare bedroom as opposed to the bedroom that she shared with her husband, which I found interesting. She had all these sex toys  lined up on display on the dresser!!! Very strange but Ok. We talked and looked at them for about 15 minutes. She had texted me earlier asking me to bring my favorites so I showed her the jackrabbit vibrator that I had brought. She asked if she could try it on me. I couldn’t think of a reason to say no so which I laid down on the bed. I was wearing the beautiful skirt and top that Sir had given me for my birthday with a  matching black and red bra and panties which she absolutely loved. We both took off my panties together and I felt my anxiety begin to escalate.

 

I will admit the jackrabbit felt so good!!! I closed my eyes and tried to pretend it was Sir fucking me and how he sounded when telling me I must cum. Unfortunately, as soon as I started to get into it, she took it out so she could show me some power massager. The spell was broken and my anxiety returned.

 

Despite being somewhat intoxicated, I did have the where with all to know I should do something in return so I decided to take her shirt and jeans off. She had a really cute bra and panty set on too.  So we talked about the best place to shop. We also laughed about how strange it was to have the undoing of the bra issue just like teenaged boys. I sucked on her tits a bit which I actually kind of liked.  She had smallish breasts and her nipples were like half the size of mine but they were so soft and tender and I was fascinated. Interestingly, I briefly had the urge to bite one of them. I found that strange that I wanted to do that. Of course I didn't. I'm pretty sure that would have been the end of our rendezvous. She is not into pain, D/S ect at all!

 

She asked me to use this light blue motorized dildo on her to which I obliged. She moaned and writhed on the bed and I felt a bit awkward again. I really didn’t know what I was supposed to do. With Sir, I lose all control and am taken over by this animal like lust. There is never a moment where I feel awkward or am wondering what I should do. I don’t think, by body just reacts to him.  

 

I'm not sure how long she had been using the dildo but she pulled it out, looked me straight in the eye, kissed me and asked me if I would lick her pussy. 

Once again, it struck me how foreign this felt. I am used to eagerly complying to any request Sir has so it felt weird to be somewhere between nonchalant and ambivalent about licking her pussy. She has a slightly salty taste. Saltier than I remember from other women I have tasted. It was bad but it also didn’t inspire any real desire on my part.  After what seemed like forever, she finally tensed, stopped and rolled on her side. I’m not sure if she came or was just done but she seemed happy enough.

 

She began to talk a bit again about her toys. I panicked slightly when I thought we were done. I still hadn’t cum and I had to get that done for Sir. Otherwise, the night would have been in vain! I searched my mind for a way to get her to go back down on me. I brought up fantasies that have yet to be fulfilled. I told her that I was never able to cum by having a dildo and woman working on my pussy at the same time and that I was dying to do this. She just looked at me and smiled. She patted the pillow to tell me to lay back.

 

This was it. I had to cum. I knew this was my last chance. I thought about how Sir told me not to be a pussy and that I would do this because that is what he wanted. I pictured how happy he would be if I succeeded and how disappointed he would be if I failed. No, I couldn’t disappoint him. I hate that feeling more than anything. Failure was definitely not an option. Slowly, I felt that calmness that only he can inspire come over me. I closed my eyes as she put the jackrabbit in my pussy and turned it on. For a second, I thought she wasn’t going to go down on me which would have be a disaster but finally I felt her breath and lips on my pussy. I tried to define what I was feeling. I think she was pushing and pulling my pussy lips.

 

My mind wandered and I scolded myself in my head. I needed to concentrate. I needed to cum for Sir. There was no other option and I would be damned if I would leave her without accomplishing this! The sooner I came, the sooner I could end this girl on girl session. I closed my eyes. I tried to imagine the sensations I felt when Sir was fucking me, even though the dildo didn’t even come close to the size of him. I wanted it harder. None of this passive baby strokes like someone was petting a kitten. Ugh! I was going to need to use more imagination to compensate. I rocked my hips in short slow strokes trying to establish a rhythm. I pictured how his skin felt, how intoxicating his smell made me. The time he fucked me so roughly over the kitchen counter that I had bruises on my hip bones drifted in my head. I know it is crazy but I swear I could hear his voice in my head telling me to cum. It sounded just like he did during those times where he is losing patience and wanted immediate compliance. I briefly was interrupted by the sensation of her moving., probably to get comfortable because I was taking so long. I pushed that thought out of my head and focused on how good it felt to have that dildo in my pussy and how aroused I was because I was so close to accomplishing this task and how happy Sir would be. That’s when I felt it rising. I thought about the relief I felt when Sir finally allowed me to cum while fucking me and at that very point, that tingling sensation burst through and I soon felt a calmness fill me body.

 

I was drained. I wanted a minute to lay there and revel in the fact that I did it. I really did it! But J started rambling on about something and I kind of had to listen. To be honest, I just wanted to get out of there and I felt a little guilty about that. By this time, I had been at her house for nearly 3 plus hours! I wanted to go. I chatted for a few more minutes and just as things started to get awkward, I said that I had to work in the morning so I really should go. She walked me to the door and kissed me. She told me she would love to see me again and brought up going to the bisexual woman meetup she told me about earlier. I said sure and left.

Do I regret this? No. While I'm not that turned in by purely girl on girl action, I am incredibly turned on by submitting and serving Sir. 

 

 

Waiting in the Dark

To reward me for the Seahawks victory on Sunday, Sir promised to fuck me. As his submissive bitch, there is no greater gift I can receive from him. From the second I learned he would be using me in the very near future, my pussy had not stopped throbbing!

 

I was given explicit instructions to be waiting for beginning at 6pm sharp. Not just waiting but waiting naked in the dark with no distractions. No tv, no internet, no books, not even a light! I was to simply sit naked on my couch in the absolute darkness and wait for his arrival. He did not give me a time when he was to arrive. It would be when he was good and ready. His arrival time was irrelevant to my task anyway. I was to wait this way as long as it took.

My submission runs deep so of course, I did exactly as Sir said. I rushed home. At 6 pm, I stripped off my clothes, turned off the lights and sat on my couch waiting for him. 

I can't remember the last time I sat and did nothing. Seriously, I am always doing something. Access to endless information from my constant companion, the iphone, made time sitting alone with no distractions a thing of the past.

 
But this is what Sir wanted and what Sir wants, Sir gets.

So, I sat there for what seemed like an eternity! He later told me it was only about 1 hour and 15 minutes. I will admit it was just as hard as I thought it was going to be. My mind wandered from how horny I was for Sir to what he may do. I tried to focus on being able to take exactly what he wanted me to.

Finally, I heard the screen door open. This was it. I took a deep breath as the key turned in the lock. He said nothing. He poured a drink and turned in the kitchen light. 

I sat there motionless, not saying anything, just waiting for him to direct me.

He came over and took me by the hair and pulled me from the couch into the bedroom. He brought the whip he had previously instructed me to have available as well.

He commanded me to lie on my stomach to which I quickly complied he began to whip me on my ass, back of the thighs and back. I had prepared for this. I knew I deserved it for not disclosing vital information to him. I had pictured myself taking his lashes so despite the pain, I was able to take it for him.

I wonder now if he sensed that this might not be enough to break me because he then had me turn over on my back. He took out his beloved cock and I got even wetter just as the sight of it. I greedily search for it with my mouth as the whip game down on my tits and pussy. Hard! Soon, I began to feel severe pain especially in my pussy. This plus him shoving his huge 8 inch cock down my throat soon became downright difficult. All I wanted to do was please him. Give him all the pleasure he gave me but the whip just relentlessly biting into my pussy. I tried to cover my tits and twist to cover my pussy but he slapped my hands back down to my side. He did this several times and soon he was able to simply point as I moved my arms or legs and I immediately got back into his desired position.

He pulled my hair to position me to his preference and I fell to the floor. My head hit. It wasn't hard but it was enough to shake me up and start the tears. I didn't expect this. Once they started I couldn't stop. But unlike the last time, I didn't try to stop them. I just let myself cry. The pain and emotion I had been suppressing just came pouring out. Sir later told me that this was his plan. 

He asked if this was too much for me. I said no. He asked if I wanted him to leave said that we could be done if that is what I wanted. Panic rushed through my body. I shook my head and desperately said "No!". Please don't leave Sir! I'll do anything for you and take everything you want to do to me. I want that! I need that!” 

Sir went on to let me gave 7 orgasms that night! He really is so good to his horny bitch. I had no trouble cuming at his command not that I usually have much anyway. Tonight I felt like I reached a new level. My body wanted to please him as much as mind did so as soon as he said "cum" my body automatically started the process. No effort or concentration involved. It excites me so much that my brain is so deeply wired to his pleasure that when he tells me to cum, my body  simply obliges.

Sir also gave me some new rules
- I am to keep my lips open at all times.
- I m to keep legs and arms uncrossed at all times.

- I am to tell him where I am staying each evening.

- My tits are no longer mine, they are his. This means no touching or rubbing. I am a bit sad about this one since I love rubbing them to feel the soreness after he pinches or bites them. On the bright side, I may ask him for permission to play with them at any time.

Now for the big one.

He said I need to find a woman to lick my pussy AND that I needed to cum when she did this! 

I am terrified about this but I am determines to do this for Sir.

A man with his stature and abilities deserves to get whatever he wants, no matter the cost and this bitch will move mountains to make that happen.

Now, to find that woman...

Pain, pleasure and the Seattle Seahawks

Last Sunday, I had the most intense experience I have ever had watching a sports event and let me tell you it was thrilling! 

Sir is incredibly creative and I never know what kind of challenges he will come up with. He definitely knows how to keep me on my toes! I received the following text from him  that morning:

 

"Here are the rules. Every time the Seahawks score you must cum. Anytime the Bucks score you must weat the clips on your nipples or clit for 5 minutes. If Seattle wins then I will call on you to fuck me early this week. If the Bucks win, I will fuck someone else and deny you orgasms for two days."

 

My mind immediately started racing through the odds of the Seahawks winning. I had been craving to have Sir fuck me even more than usual and I really needed it! The Seahawks are a 7-1 team, playing at home in one of the loudest stadiums a visiting team could play in. The Buccaneers, on the other hand, are winless, playing in a different time zone and in general don't have much going for them. This might actually work out for me! I relaxed a bit and waited for the game to start.

 

My anxiety grew the closer to the starting time of 1PM it got. By the time the game actually started I was a nervous wreck. I was glued to the tv and every time I watched a play, my stomach did flip flops. The first quarter ended scoreless so I started to calm down a little bit.

 

That was to be a short lived calmness.

 

The first score of the game came at the beginning of  the second quarter and was a touchdown by the Buccaneers. On went the nipple clamps. I started the stopwatch on my phone so I was sure to wear them for the required 5 minutes. I was a tiny bit concerned but not overly so. It was only 7-0 and there was still a lot of time left.

 

My concern turned to mild panic as the Buccaneers scored again. I put the clamps back on. Now my nipples were on fire!

About 3 minutes into this session with the clamps, the Seahawks fumbled the ball and soon the Buccaneers scored yet another touchdown! I wasn't even going to get a chance to take the clips off. I added 5 more minutes to the stopwatch. During this time, I received a text from Sir telling me who it was that he would likely fuck. Now I was in pure agony not just physically but mentally. 

As much pain as I was in with the clips on, I was even more frightened about the intensity of the pain when I took them off!

 

Just when I thought I couldn't take it one more second, the alarm on my phone beeped. I removed the clamp on the right side first. Pain shot throughout my body and I gasped in pain. 

My hands were shaking as I gripped the remaining clamp trying to summon the courage to take it off. Finally, I took a deep breath and squeezed. I saw colors as once again the pain burst through every nerve in my body. It felt like I had 100 needles puncturing my nipples. I made a mental note to practice building up my tolerance to the cursed device of nipple torture.

 

At this point, I was quite distressed. The physical pain soon subsided but I couldn't stop thinking about how I may very well lose the desperately needed fuck from Sir and that was worse than any amount of pain that clamps or a whip could give ever me.

 

Sensing my despair, Sir told me not get too upset. He reminded me that there was still a lot of football left to play. I knew he has an amazing intuitive sense so this actually made me feel a little bit better.

 

Minutes later, Russell Wilson made a pass to Jermaine Kearse for a touchdown making the score 21-7. Maybe things weren’t going to be so bad after all. Finally, it was time for pain over pleasure! My first orgasm of the game and it I would soon find that it wouldn’t be the last.

 

Shortly after the second half of the game started, the Buccaneers got a field goal so back on went the torturer of nipples. They were so painful, I could barely see straight. I didn’t think I could take another session with them. Fortunately, I wasn’t going to have to.

 

The Seahawks proceeded to score a field goal and 3 more touchdowns to tie the score with the last one being with only 1:56 seconds left in the game.  The fourth quarter ended in a tie. Now, to add to the drama, the game went into overtime.

 

Overtime began and the Seahawks kicked a 27 yard field goal to win the game. Words can’t explain how elated I was! I won the golden prize and would soon be fucked by Sir. 

Life was all good for this happy, submissive 

bitch :)